7 mistakes that keep you stuck in career limbo

You’ve taken personality tests. Scrolled through job portals. Watched YouTube videos. Talked to your best friend, your brother, maybe even your colleague’s sister who changed careers herself. You bought books called “Find Your Dream Job” and even started reading them only to stop somewhere around chapter two because you felt overwhelmed. And you keep thinking about what you could do. Non stop.

I know that feeling. And let me tell you right away: it doesn’t help. In fact, it reinforces the sense of being stuck.

What I didn’t understand back then ( and what I see again and again today in the people I support as a career change coach) is this: The problem often isn’t that you don’t know what you want. The problem is how you’re trying to figure it out.

When it comes to career transitions, there are a few persistent mistakes that keep you running in circles instead of moving forward. Not because you’re thinking too little but sometimes because you’re thinking too much.

Mistake 1: You’re trying to figure it out with your head

You try to approach it rationally. You analyse what you are good at. You make a list of pros and cons. You think about which professions have a future and where your education could take you. Yes, that sounds reasonable.

But: the question ‘What do I really want to do professionally?’ is not a question for the head. It cannot be answered by thinking about it even more. And brooding over it night after night (you probably know this feeling) exhausts you without getting you anywhere.

How much are you actually just functioning? Always doing, always achieving. Always looking for answers outside yourself. At some point, you realise that you have lost touch with yourself. With your intuition. With what your body would have told you long ago if you had just stopped thinking so loudly. Your body sends you quite a few signals. The only problem is that most of us were not taught to listen to them. From an early age, we are taught to think with our heads and solve problems rationally. And so we quickly lose touch with our most important compass: our own bodies and what really feels right.

The head is good at analysing things. Really. But it's pretty bad at sensing what feels right. What would your intuition tell you if you gave it some space?

Mistake 2: You wait for the big ‘aha’ moment

At some point, the moment will come when everything clicks. When you wake up and just know what you want. When everything falls into place. When the answer is simply there. Maybe. But without disappointing you, most of the time it doesn't happen that way. Most people I know (myself included) didn't find their direction in a single moment of enlightenment. It was more of a slow process of trial and error. A process of trial and error. From ‘Yeah, that's nice’ to ‘Nah, I don't like that’ to ‘Wait, I actually enjoyed that.’ Clarity comes from movement, not from waiting. That sounds trite, but it's pretty crucial. As long as you stand still and wait for the answer to fall from the sky, most of the time nothing happens.

That doesn't mean you should blindly try anything. But it does mean that the next step is not ‘know everything first,’ but ‘start finding out.’ Have a conversation. Take a trial lesson. Look over the shoulder of someone doing a job that interests you. Clarity is not a state you reach before you start. It arises as you start. The Persian poet and mystic Rumi knew even then: “When you start walking the path, the path appears. Clarity does not come before action. It comes from action.”

Mistake 3: You ask everyone else but yourself

Girlfriends, partners, parents, colleagues. Maybe even your best friend’s brother, who has decided a well paid job after 20 years to follow his dream. Twenty opinions later, you are more confused than before and just as clueless as you were at the beginning.
Seeking advice isn’t wrong. But at some point, it all becomes confusing. And you can tell because after each conversation
you feel more exhausted and no clearer about what you actually want.

Why is that? Others always respond based on their own history. Their experiences, their fears, what has worked for them or hasn’t. Your mother recommends security because she is worried. Your friend tells you to do what you enjoy because she wishes she had been more courageous herself. Your partner hesitates because a change in your life would also change his. Most people mean well. But you are collecting other people’s wisdom and trying to piece together your own answer from it. That doesn’t work.

The annoying thing is: it feels productive. You are doing something, talking, gathering input, engaging with the topic. But at the end of the evening, you are just as far along as you were before, only with more conflicting voices in your head. At some point, the questioning has to stop and the sensing has to begin. Your answer isn't with any of them. It's with you. Imagine a decision and feel it: does it feel like a yes or like a no that you already know but don't want to hear yet? The more you practise this, the clearer the signals become.

Mistake 4: You want certainty before you take action

‘I'll only change when I know what I want.’ or ‘I'll start as soon as I'm sure it will work out.’

Yes, certainty is a nice feeling, but when it comes to career change, it is usually an illusion. You will never know for sure whether the new path is the right one before you take it. That may not be what you want to hear, but it's true.

I remember well when I turned down a contract extension because I simply didn't want to stay in a job anymore and honestly had no idea what would happen next. My parents were worried. Why not look for something new first and accept the extension until I found something? But I knew that this job was no longer an option for me. And I knew I had to do it now. ( I'm not saying that I recommend this for everyone, though ). It was definitely not easy, and I had a few sleepless nights because I was afraid of the unknown.

Sometimes you have to take the plunge to get things moving. Of course, it's possible that those around you won't react enthusiastically. People who love you worry. But ultimately, it's not about what others want. It's about what you want.

Mistake 5: You confuse overthinking with clarity

Ruminating feels productive. You are thinking things through. You are engaging with the issue. You are taking it seriously. But ruminating is not the same as finding clarity. It's usually the opposite. If the same thoughts keep coming back, if you're going round in circles, if you're more exhausted after two hours of thinking than you were before then that's not a sign that you should think more. It's a sign that you need to get out of your head and into a different quality of engagement.

What that means specifically is different for each person. Sometimes it's movement. Sometimes it's good questions that someone else asks, not to give advice, but to guide you to yourself. Sometimes it's simply taking an honest look at what's actually holding you back. By the way, ruminating also protects us quite well from what really hurts: the answers we already know but are not yet ready to hear.

Mistake 6: You are daydreaming

You lose yourself in daydreams. Perhaps you find yourself daydreaming about opening your own café, becoming a yoga teacher, moving to a sunny country and opening a hostel. It all sounds very tempting. But do you actually know what everyday life as a café owner really looks like? How does it feel to make sure you have enough revenue every month to pay the rent and salaries?

My tip: talk to people who do exactly what you have in mind. Ask them what their everyday life is like, what annoys them, what they would never want to miss. And then think again about whether this is really your thing. I'm not saying it can't be your path, but it's easy to get lost in dreams and not do a reality check. And if you realise that you really want to try it, then get a taste of what it's like in practice before you dive headfirst into the adventure.

Mistake 7: You believe your inner critic

The brain has a weakness for negativity. Psychologists call this negativity bias. A stupid comment from your boss lingers for days, while genuine praise fizzles out after a few hours. And who takes immediate advantage of this? Your inner critic. It turns it into a continuous loop: you're not good enough. Others can do it better. You won't find another job anyway. The more you listen, the louder this voice becomes. You'll never figure out what you want. And while you let yourself be bombarded by this, your view narrows. You only see the problems and overlook the fact that there are plenty of opportunities out there that your brain is successfully blocking out.

And why clarity is the crucial step

Without direction, it's like your GPS saying ‘Go!’ without a destination entered. You start out motivated, set off, and eventually realise that you're not getting anywhere. When you know what you want, you make conscious decisions. You take action instead of aimlessly scrolling through job portals and hoping that something will turn up. You don't have to figure this out on your own.

What now?

If you recognise yourself in one or more of these mistakes, then welcome to the club. Career change is not just a mental exercise. It's about reconnecting with yourself. With what you really need, what drives you beyond what others expect of you or what makes sense on paper. If you want to find out what your next step could be, feel free to book a free introductory meeting with me. And yes, I'm nice too :) And I won't talk you into anything. Because I only want to work with people who are interested and who I don't have to convince.